I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
