is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
