strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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