Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
