we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
