I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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