my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
