i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
