did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
