508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
