is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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