got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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