3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
