well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
