Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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