so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There's always time for handjobs
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize