It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
