her vagine was all disorganized.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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