um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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