yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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