Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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