There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize