I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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