I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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