Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
