guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
