my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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