I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sorry my hands just texted you
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
