States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize