your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
