I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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