great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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