At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
