Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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