Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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