Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
