I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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