new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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