stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
