i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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