Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
