do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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