I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
