Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
