u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
