I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
