i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
