I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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