Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
