dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
