i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
