After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
NoShamevember. You game?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
