**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
