I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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