I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Do vagina's smell?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
