Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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