Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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