They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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