i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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