the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
