Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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