I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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