is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i would punch a child for taco bell
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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